Thai Bargirl / Freelancer Notes
I hope these comments are helpful:
One question I get often is in regard to whether a guy can forget a lady's past, or better yet, whether a lady can make a break with her past.
The answer varies, depending upon the lady's personality and history.
On the one hand, there is the old saying that the best way to predict the future is to look at the past. This would say that habits and lifestyles don't change easily.
On the other hand, many ladies who enter the nightlife are passing thru a phase of life just like we all do, and will move on and make a break with their past.
Having been in Thailand since 1994 and doing private investigations since 1997, I can attest that while there are many ladies who I have seen on the landscape for about 10 years (some beautiful...), on the other hand most of them disappear and I wonder "what happened to them, where did they go?" Many were day-to-day or frequent appearances in pickup joints, and then suddenly never showed up again.
Sometimes, I cross paths with them on the street years later. I will usually stop them and say a friendly "Hi" and that I remember them, and where have they been? Many are happily married and just coming back to Thailand for a short trip to visit family and friends, and are definitely not up for sex with anyone else. However, many others are taking a break from the husband they don't really love and hunting for an upgrade.
Much more commonly, I have seen so many ladies go thru the metamorphosis from innocent and lovely newcomer to hard core scamming bargirl or freelancer, with a series of short disappearances. I spot them back on the game again in somewhat regular intervals.
Some of those who I later meet and who have quit the bar scene to be faithful to their husband have already gone thru all the steps or subphases, approximately like this:
- New to the bar scene, shy, tend to bond to their first customer(s)
- Get "training" from friends and associates, get experience, and get hardened
- Have lots of money for the first time (by their standards), become a hard core commercial sex worker, learning to enjoy the nightlife
- Tire of the prostitution business, start to think there could be a better life
- Think they would have it made in life if they marry a rich man
- Marry a rich man, get lots of money, happy for a short while
- Tire of taking care of the rich man they don't really love, realize that money and marrying a rich man don't bring happiness, think they can get more from life (assuming the lady ended the relationship, not the man)
- Set their goal to find a man they really love but who is financially secure and will support them with enough money to meet their comfortable needs (a major reduction from the rich man)
I must say that this is an overgeneralization, and I don't want to pidgeonhole ladies into these steps or substages of the bargirl/freelancer stage of their lives. This is mainly an example of the steps many bargirls and freelancers go thru, but not all such ladies. Some don't go thru many of these steps at all, and wouldn't.
On the other hand, there are so many ladies who just love the nightlife and can never get away from it for long before they get bored. They love the bargirl community of friends, the music, the lights, and especially the hunting interaction with new and different foreigners. They are nightlife addicts. Bringing them out of Thailand to your cozy community overseas is too much of a shock and change. They get stuck on step #3 above. It is an easy, reactive life where they can do subsistence farming of tourists that does not require the work or self-discipline to improve their life.
Those who have passed stage 7 have "been there and done that" completely, and can actually be a more stable girlfriend. They don't want to return to the past, but want to move on. They don't wonder, fantacize or want to explore or experiment further because they already have done that with countless repeat experiences. They want to move on to a new and different life.
The most common success stories are ladies with a history of self-discipline as witnessed by various accomplishment such as a university degree, or many years working in an office that requires a proper lifestyle or else a tough job for a lower educated person, or some other achievement.
The worst cases are ladies who basically haven't done much in their lives. Poverty and lack of opportunity may be the root cause, but there are often personality factors and behaviors which are easy to recognize as danger signs.
Sample case studies of Thai girlfriends:
- Hotel employee, fake student, delayed money requests, terrible deception, Bangkok
- Bargirl, success story, mixed but faithful, Bangkok
- Bargirl, Pattaya, with monthly support but repeated urgent pressures for extra money
- Quick entrapment
- Denial -- sometimes the immediate reaction
- For foreign wife, find out if husband has a Thai girlfriend -- IF
- For foreign wife or man's family, find out about husband's Thai girlfriend -- ABOUT
- Composite issues
- Safety issues
- A customer's article on another website about our investigation, on Stickman Bangkok (we knew nothing of this article until after it was online and have had absolutely no editorial inputs to it)
- Thai bargirls and freelancers - some notes
- More case studies... hundreds!
Introducing your optional expat PI - Mark
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